The Cub Your Mother Warned You About (jrcubindy) wrote,
The Cub Your Mother Warned You About
jrcubindy

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Riding the maverick: a bit of introspection.

Maverick.

Noun.

an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party.

Related words: Nonconformist, bohemian, deviant, individualist, loner, freak, oddball, weirdo, misfit, outsider, anomaly

That describes me as well as anything. I honestly think I've been such all my life.

Sent to a Christian school by very blue collar parents who wanted their son to have a good education, despite the fact that he lived in the inner city and had far less than most of his classmates. One of the handful of black people in the entire school. Growing up gay in environments intristically hostile to gay people.

I was born black and gay, but I defy the stereotypes for both in many ways. I think that's why I started to gravitate toward the "bear" subculture, but as time has gone on, I've noticed that there seem to be sterotypes emerging from that as well.

Everytime I've ever tried to "fit in", I've only got ridicule and flak from one side or another. So I've long since stopped bothering. I found my own beat and started grooving to it.

I think I've gotten so used to not fitting in, that anytime it looks like I may, I do something (consciously or not) to make sure I stand apart. I don't know whether that's a bad thing or not.

One thing I do know is that every now and then, I meet somebody who's beat compliments mine. And they groove with me. Always cool, I think.
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