The Cub Your Mother Warned You About (jrcubindy) wrote,
The Cub Your Mother Warned You About
jrcubindy

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Willowisms

There are lines that, due to the combination of writing and Alyson Hannigan's delivery, I have come to call "Willowisms".

Here are my favorites. :)



No Assembly Required
Love makes you do the wacky.

Reptile Boy
Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?! Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

Lie To Me
Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, "Wow! That baby is sore!"
Xander: You have too many thoughts.

Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?!
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.


Innocence
Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much. It's not natural!
Xander: I know it's weird...
Willow: Weird? It's against all laws of God and Man! It's Cordelia! Remember? The, the 'We Hate Cordelia' club, of which you are the treasurer.
Xander: Look, I was gonna tell you.
Willow: Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shame?

Phases
Willow: Oz and I are in some sort of holding pattern, except without the holding or... anything else.
Cordelia: What's he waiting for? What's his problem? Oh, that's right, he's a guy.
Willow: (disgusted) Yeah, him and Xander. Guys.
Cordelia: Who do they think they are?
Willow: A couple of guys.



Amends
Buffy: What are you doing for Christmas?
Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.

Gingerbread
Buffy: What is this?
Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too, you do doodle too.

Willow: (thickly sarcastic) I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them. ... Prince of Night, I summon you. Come fill me with your black, naughty evil.

Dopplegangland
Willow:Okay, that's a little blacker than I like my arts.

Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.
Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?

Enemies
Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the "do that" girl!

(to Buffy) Go. I give you leave to go.

Graduation Day
Old trusty soda machine. I push you for root beer, you give me coke.



The Freshman
It's just in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up--you know?--and letting this place thrust into and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.

Living Conditions
Did we not put the 'grr' in girl?

The Initiative

Willow: Ok, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition.

Riley: Yep, that's the plan.

(To Riley) And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

This Years Girl
Willow: She's like this cleavagy slut-bomb walking around "Ooh, check me out, I'm wicked-cool, I'm five-by-five."

Tara: Five-by-five? Five what by five what?

Willow: See, that's the thing. No one knows.

The Yoko Factor
And besides, when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.

Primeval
Falling now!



Tough Love
We were having good clean educational fun, and then all of a sudden it was all gloom and doom and the outlawing of human triangles.



Doublemeat Palace
Hey, standing right here! Standing right exactly here.

As You Were
You know, when I was little, I used to spend hours imagining what my wedding to Xander would be like. And now I look at them... I just think... "Nee-hee-hee!"




Willow: I mean, I even posted a melodramatic love poem or two back in the day.

Xander: Love poems?

Willow: I'm over you now, sweetie.

Xander: Love poems!

Bring On the Night
Um, Buffy, I just, I want you to know that I'm really sorry for letting you down. You know, here before with the magic going all "aah!" and me going all "eeee!" and everything getting all "rrrr!"

Showtime
Facing my fear. I'm facing my fear. Hear that, Fear? I'm facing you.

Chosen
That was nifty…
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