Bull Mother Fucking Shit.
NOTHING changes. Not on a social level. It's the same thing on a larger scale. You have the EXACT same cliques, social strata and so on that you did in high school. You got your jocks (armchair and otherwise), geeks, socialites, mean kids, cool kids; etc, etc....and then the extreme ends of the spectrum: the rare BMOC who gets along with all of the cliques, and the weirdo outcast who everybody is too afraid to let in.
As for everybody else, they feel that you belong in their clique, you're in. If not, fuck off.
LJ can be that in microcosm,sometimes. High school all over again.
Some of you may have started to wonder in the past several days, what with my moodiness and all, if I'm worthy of being in your clique. Well, I'm going to give you the basic breakdown of me to let you decide whether or not I'm worthy of being part of your world.
First off, let me tell you that I am a big ol fuckin geek. I'm proud of that fact. I like superhero movies, sci-fi, fantasy and horror. I can discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer for hours on end, and have in fact, done so with several people, online and off. I can carry on lengthy conversations about movies I've seen, comics I've read, video games I've played, and role playing games I've played in and game mastered. And I can do so with a modicum of intelligence. These types of activties are what make me happy, and so I talk about them.
Another of my major interest is music. Not so much from a musicians perspective as from a listeners. I don't listen for the technical aspects of the song as I do the emotional. What is the song trying to say? What feelings is it trying to evoke? Of course, there's a general vibe music gives off as it's aimed for a general or specific audience. I grew up in an urban environment and therefore like most urban types of music. I know rap and hip hop are dirty words to most gay men, but I've been listening to it since I was in diapers and there are still rappers out there I find very very funky, so I listen to it. And soul and R&B are stil my first loves. I do not, however limit myself to those genres. I love a lot of trance and trip hop. Massive Attack, for example, rocks my world. Dub reggae, jazz, game music, J-Pop, grunge (I still like it), gothic industrial, celtic, classical, choral...all of these are on my playlists. Strike up a conversation about music sometime with me. I may surprise you.
My views on:
In my view, the vast majority of politicians are simply out for what ever power they can grab and screw Joe Average if it means more power and money for them. Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Conservative. Unless they prove otherwise to me, they're all the same in my eyes. Do you think I was kidding when I said I voted for Cthulu? At least he's up front with his intentions.
Whatever God or gods you bow to does not matter to me. Whatever religion you practice does not matter to me. All religions break down into two basic rules: "Behave" and "Be nice to each other". As long as you're cool with that, I don't care if you pray to Jehovah, the Holy Trinity, Allah, the Pagan God and Goddess, Odin, the Loa, Brahma or Buddah. Me, I'm still open. Leaning toward Taoism, but need to study it further.
To me, it is an art form. A means of expression with whoever you're with serving as both audience and medium. Now, there are quite a few of you on here I'd like to get down with. But it doesn't necessarily HAVE to happen. I'm cool with just being friends, or just being fuck buddies, or actually being friends with benefits. Things can get complicated, but only if we make them so. I have a voracious sexual appetite and while I can stay vanilla and have fun, I do like to walk on the wild side a bit. Oh, and my definition of vanilla may not be as vanilla as yours. See the Eros Manifesto for more.
I'm perfectly willing to tell you anything you wanna know, if you wanna know it. I like to think I'm approachable. A few other random tidbits of info:
I'm a Leo and have a lot of traits ascribed to that sign. I can be by turns arrogant, generous, loyal, pompous, outspoken and boisterous. I can be emotionally needy, and at the same time, fiercely independent and individualistic.
I have 3 online screen names. JrCubIndy is my oldest and best known, but I don't use it that much anymore because I don't live in Indianapolis anymore. Anywhere you still see it, it's there because I can't change it or it costs money to change it, and frankly, I could use the money elsewhere. Treyblk4wht is my "tricking" screenname, derived from an old nickname I picked up when I was a kid. I still use it, but not as much. More and more these days, the name you'll see me using is InverseCub. It frees me from location and it's a name I just generally like.
I'm also highly emotional and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. The last several posts I've made are proof enough of that. You may not know why I feel the way I feel, but you WILL know how I feel.
That's me in a nutshell. Like I said, feel free to ask me anything else you want to know.
I've made my share of mistakes both here and in Indianapolis and committed my share of sins. I've hurt people and I've been hurt in return. I've also done quite a bit in my life and had a few major triumphs. Some of my sins I'm rather proud of and not so proud of some of my successes. I'm not afraid to be wrong, as long as I can learn from it.
I have 88 different people listed as friends on my friends list. You're there because I looked over your journal, talked to you online or met you IRL, you seemed interesting and I'd like to get to know you better. Every last one of you is someone I would like to hang out with at some point. There may be sex involved, there may not. There will probably be a large amount of geekdom involved. Hell, if I see you online, I'm liable to poke and prod and see what we have in common so I can start an actual conversation.
If what you've just read disqualifies me from being in your set, if I'm not somebody you feel like you wanna hang with, fuck around with or just talk to in general, TAKE ME OFF YOUR FRIENDS LIST RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! I will respond in kind.
I'm not going anywhere, people. I may take a break and retreat for a while, but I'm not gonna delete my account because somebody pissed me off, I'm not gonna do myself in, and I'm not, as was recently (and unkindly) suggested to me, gonna unplug my computer. You don't want anything to do with me, fine. Step off.
I'm tired of reaching out to people to have my hand slapped away or looked at as if it were covered in excrement. I'm not good enough for you or your clique, cool. If my sins are so egregious you cannot forgive them, that's you. If I'm too forward, or boisterous, or quirky, fine.
I survived high school by being the rarest person of them all. An individual. If that's what it takes for me to survive as an adult, so be it. I can do that.
To those of you who I know are my friends, thank you and bless you.