I couldn't see him like that. I don't want to remember him like that. I don't want to see him hooked up to a bunch of machines, barely hanging onto life like I had to watch my grandmother do at the end.
I want to remember him full of life, talking with me about Buffy, planning out games. I want to remember all the conversations we had about life. I want to remember the advice he gave me. I want to remember him helping me come to terms with things. I want to remember his passion for the things he believed in.
I couldn't just go and watch him die.